Every time I go to dinner
Seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner.
I'll sit down at the breakfast table.
I can talk, well they're not able.
When I look at them I find.
There's a single question on their mind.

I wish it could go back to the way it was
It's not easy now because...

My whole family thinks I'm gay,
I guess it's always been that way.
Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk
That makes them think that I like... boys.

That I like boys.

The goddamn question just won't go away.
And I get asked every single day.
But the way they ask it is not a disguise,
Like, "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"

Baby this is the worst,
Baby this was my fear.
Now their opinions are crystal clear.
Because...

My whole family now is shocked.
I'm in the closet, and the door is locked.
Now my glory days are gone
I was John Elway, now I'm Elton John.

I'm Elton John.

My whole family now suspects
That watching Spongebob had side-effects.
I'm not gay and that's what I said
If I'm gay hey, God, strike me dead (cough, cough, cough).

That's weird.

Just 'cause I go to an all guys school
Doesn't mean that Justin Timberlake makes me drool.

When I go outside, what do I see?
That the clouds in the sky spell F-A-G.

I think that God might think I'm gay.
What does He know anyway?
My grandma gave me a present just last year,
And the card said, "Happy Birthday, Queer!"

"Happy Birthday, queer!"

My whole family thinks I'm fab.
There's a guy's butt hey, Bo, take a stab.
Why doesn't he get women?
There's no other way.
It's 'cause I'm lanky, not 'cause I'm gay.

Not 'cause I'm gay.

Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow.
Or my favorite color is the rain(Bo)w...
I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must.
'Cause I'm losing the people that I thought I could trust.

Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay... Just kidding.

You all probably think I'm gay...
Man this song is counter-productive.
La la la la la la... Not gay I swear

Not gay I swear.

Baby.
My whole family thinks I'm gay.
What am I supposed to say?
You gotta look right through the haze.
Easy-Bake Oven was just a phase.

My whole family thinks I'm queer.
That is all I ever hear.
But I've been as straight as a ramp,
If you don't count Bible camp.

Don't count Bible camp.

I'm not gay I swear.