This is a public warning 
Be careful when you`re out 
We`re having freaky weather 
There`s a lot of it about 
On the terraces it`s swinging 
He`s a monkey on the roof 
You`ve seen him on the telly 
So let me introduce 
(Your host tonight) 
  
T.O.P.M.A.N. 
He`s naughty by nature 
T.O.P.M.A.N. 
On doubles and chaser 
T.O.P.M.A.N. 
He a little boy racer 
T.O.P.M.A.N. 
Shooting guns on the high street of love 
  
In a crowd it`s hard to spot him 
But anonymity can cost 
It`s never cheap or cheerful 
He`s Hugo and he`s Boss 
He`s riding through the desert 
On a Camel Light 
On a magic carpet 
He`ll fly away tonight 
(Open sesame) 
  
T.O.P.M.A.N. 
Sees her in double 
T.O.P.M.A.N. 
Pukes on the pavement 
T.O.P.M.A.N. 
He likes her all clean and shaven 
T.O.P.M.A.N. 
Shooting guns on the high street of love