Mr. urquart had a house in the beautifull south
He bought it for his wife, for a better way of life
Mrs. urquart suffered from rheumatism
I dr. deadlock say leave your english prison

And go to italy, the country of big history
Where emperors oppressed the people steadily
Long time before the english learned to make tea
This is the best place for you old lady

Chorus:
Mr. urquart from north england
Never really had a very lucky hand
Mr. urquart and his wife they wanted
A better way of life

Mr. urquart said: my dear beloved wife
I bought for this house for a better way of life
It won't take too much time if we take the aeroplane
But poor mr. urquart what he did was all in vain

Mrs. urquart said: you dumb little whimp
I am afraid of aeroplanes we have to take the ship

I dr. deadlock say mrs. urquart don't go
You cannot take the ship because the ship is too slow
Too long on the sea is not good for your bones
The thing to take you to the south is the train alone

Mr. urquart from north england
Never really had a very lucky hand
Mr. urquart and his wife wanted a better way of life
But he never really had a very lucky hand

Mr. urquart from north england
Never really had a very lucky hand
Made a mistake at central station and took the train to
Poland
... yes he never had a lucky hand at all

That's mr. urquart from north england