You know he's not the kind of man who likes to see the world around him
Crumble to a ball around his feet
But he's always ready, he's always set, he's always well prepared
He's the most peculiar man you'll ever meet

You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door
He's not the king of Bedside Manor
He hardly even lives there anymore

He says excuse me, I hope you don't mind that I followed you into this shop
And I couldn't help but notice that riding crop
Sticking out of your haversack,
Well, I wouldn't mind riding you bareback

He's subtle on the dancefloor and he's suave around the bar
He's a quickdraw with a lighter, he's a pseudo movie star
You know he was quite a singer, quite an actor, quite some time ago
He had quite a famous program, late night bedtime TV show.

You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door
He's not the king of Bedside Manor
He hardly even lives there anymore

You know, he opens up the curtains at the crack of dawn
Just to see the lovely ladies who have come and gone
From the house next door to his house on the lane
He consoles himself that he's got his health and he knows he can't complain

You know he's not the king of Bedside Manor
He's not the Tom Jones that lives next door
He's not the king of Bedside Manor
He hardly even lives there anymore

He's not the King of Bedside Manor
He's not the King of Bedside Manor
Hardly even lives there anymore

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto
Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto...

He's not the king, he's not the king
He's not the king of Bedside Manor