Another phone call, you've got nothing to do
The world doesn't do enough to entertain you
You're sick of Game Boy and the chatroom's dead
You're so damned bored you're going out of your head
Can't find any titties on cable TV
So you're flirting outside with a girl of 14
You say that for you, I'm the only one
But I don't want to raise your mother's son

I want a man, not a boy
A man doesn't play with little boys' toys
Real men don't go chasing teenage girls
In the grown-up world

Once you thought you met the love of your life
You imagined one day that you'd be man and wife
You had a lot in common and you sure had fun
But something about her didn't please your mum.
So it's a no-brainer why your folks have not met me
Your dad's found a girl that he'd like you to meet
Still under Daddy's thumb at 32,
And you're still afraid to tell him that you got a tattoo.

I want a man, not a boy
A man doesn't let mummy dictate his choice
A real man doesn't let daddy pick his girl
In the grown up world

You screen your calls coz you don't pay your bills
All your money's been spent
Most of it goes right up your nose
Till there's nothing left for the rent

Well, your mom drops in, to see what you're up to,
She fills your fridge and pantry, and leaves money for you
By the time she's gone, your laundry's all clean,
Her boy will never need to use a washing machine
Now your music's up loud, the words cut like a knife
How women are all bitches who just ruin your life
Well, when it comes to women you haven't got a clue
And you're long past the time where your charm could get you through

I need a man, not a boy
Not a boy, who listens to misogynistic heavy metal noise
I want a man, not a boy
Not a boy, who whines about doing anything I enjoy
I need a man, not a boy
So it's time to look for someone else that you can annoy
I need a man who can love someone else
Besides himself