When I joined a band I thought my life was pretty cool

We'd stay in hotels with room service and pools

Sign body parts for fans

Check into rehab and smash up the van

But looking back I should have stayed in school.



Life out on the road can be dangerous you see

To rock stock food and smelly roadies

Are not nearly as scary 

As that girl who's at every show

Mouthing the words from the front row

The stalker girl is scaring the hell out of me



She's my creepy stalker girl

I'm the centre of her wacked out crazy and delusional world

She follows me every everywhere

She's even got a bag with some bits of my hair

Just go away you creepy stalker girl



She says I touch her in a very special way

But I'd never go near her now without my pepper spray

And the voices in her head

Said break into my house and sleep in my bed

And they also said that shaving the cat was okay



She's my creepy stalker girl

I'm the centre of her wacked out crazy and delusional world

She follows me every everywhere

She's even got a bag with some bits of my hair

Just go away you creepy stalker girl



I've analysed your handwriting and I've got some bad news

You're manic obsessive with abandonment issues

And you think that all our songs

Are about you and you're usually wrong

Except for now this song is so about you

You creepy stalker girl, you creepy stalker girl, you creepy stalker girl