It's the most frightening thing in the world 

It's the scariest sight I've ever seen 

The most chilling visual 

The most terrifying scene 

It's awful, it's crappy, it's monstrous, it's bad 



It's really really huge 

It's a fat man in a Speedo 

I'm walking on a beach in a tropical isle 

Hoping to enjoy the sand and surf 

When I see a mound of baby-oiled flesh 

Rolling and a broiling in the foam 



The only thing that's holding this 

Explosion of Caucasian is 

A tiny red synthetic coloured thread 

I try to sink it in the sand 



And entomb it in a castle but 

It always manages to break free 

The fat man in a Speedo 

I'm having nightmares 



I'm scared to open my eyes 

I try to free myself 

By going to the buffet 

But there he is 



He even eats in his Speedo 

I take up a collection at the bar the next day 

And everybody gives to the cause 

To rent a helicopter that will take this whale 



To Cuba and free the horizon from his bulk 

We have a celebration 

In one of his indentations 

And throw a bowl of jello in the air 



We think we've escaped and our scenery is clear 

But in comes a plane from Germany 

Thirty fat German men wearing Speedos!