I used to go to all the parties 

And make love to all the beautiful ladies 

And I'd eat cheeseburgers 

With bacon and extra grease when I was hungry 

And drink Windex coladas until my skin turned blue 



But now, the times they are changing 

My lifestyle, it is rearranging 

For debauchery may be fun and entertaining 

But it is also very bad for you 



Do you know how many diseases you can get 

Making love to someone who has not had all their tests 

So nowadays I am celibate 

And I wear a condom in case I have dirty thoughts 

I never drive my car past the speed limit 

And I alway wear my seatbelt when I am in it 



I traded my Lambourghini for a Honda Civic 

Because it is more fuel efficient and practical 

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh 



Being boring is the way to go 

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh 

Having fun is bad for you 



I can no longer smoke my cigarettes 

Because I found that they are a major cause of death 

The tar and nicotine have not killed me yet 

But if I got pregnant, it could hurt my baby 



I used to love my sporty complexion 

I tanned myself to perfection 

But the sun can give you a cancerous infection 

So now I am white and pasty 

And I never leave the house 



And I never leave the house 

I used to eat like there was no tomorrow 

(Num num num num num!) 



But then I found cholesteral is full of sorrow 

The last thing I want to do is to have to borrow 

Somebody else's heart because 

Mine is full of fatty deposits 

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh 

Being boring is the way to go 

Ay-ay-ay, ay-ay-oh 



Having fun is bad for you 

Having fun is bad for you