Hey kid, why the long face 

Is it cause Santa Claus is 

Flying right on over your place 

You've been a bad kid all year 



So quit your snivellin' sucker 

And wipe up them tears 

You don't deserve a damn thing 

You're not even cute and your attitude stinks 



It must suck to be you 

Nobody likes you so what can you do 

You think you got problems kid, 

You think you got strife? 



But come each December do you fear for your life? 

I'm your turkey baby, so your troubles are small 

I'm stuffed on your table, I'm a tasty butterball 

I've got the Christmas turkey blues 



If you got your necked ripped out then you'd have them too 

I've got the Christmas turkey blues 

You chase me and waste and baste me

And taste me and drown me in gravy too 



You sir, you look like heck 

Didn't you get your Christmas bonus cheque 

Or maybe your woman left you 

Ripped your heart right out of your chest and spat on it too 



Is that why you're reeking of gin 

You look disheveled and there's drool on your chin 

You thought that this love would laugh 

But she said Merry Christmas baby and she booted your ass 



Well that's tough for you mister, too bad about your ordeal

How about getting stuffed in the wintertime, see how you fee 

I don't get to yank no bones or make me a wish 

It won't be long til I'm just some scraps on a dish 



I've got the Christmas turkey blues 

If your butt was stuffed and roasted then you'd have then too 

I've got the Christmas turkey blues 

You chase me and waste and baste me 



And taste me and drown me in gravy too 

(*spoken*) Let's take a walk