She's the woman of the year

Independent, a career

There's not a thing that she couldn't do

She's alert, she's aware

She's got legs like Astaire

And a hundred fifty-seven IQ



She has several PHDs

Speaks fluent Japanese

And her shoes will always match with her purse

And every street she's walking down

Everybody turns around and says

'HELLO NURSE!'



She likes cheese and pepperoni

Won a Pulitzer and a Tony

She played the leading role in King Leer

She never drinks, she never smokes

She never laughs at dirty jokes

She was ambassador to China last year



Oh, she's politically correct

She'd never call collect

She plays Chopin and she doesn't rehearse

And when she's walking by

I give a little sigh, and shout

'HELLO NURSE!'



She gets her math equations right

She reads Tolstoy every night

She won the Nobel prize in physics, it's true

She drives a shiny new Corvette

Sings opera at the Met

And volunteers her time at the zoo



Oh, she won a scholarship to Yale

Got a Fullbright in the mail

And took a two year junior college degree

She's manna sent from Heaven

Too bad I'm only seven

'Cause, Hello Nurse

I wish you'd take care of me!



If she's not everything that we've said

Then may lightening strike us dead