Hey you were standing by the screen door slamming
Rather clear what’s taking place
You were holding on to Louie
He was packing, he was heavy that plastic handle just about to break
Yeah then you picked up Chloe
She knew y’all were going
She started barking like a tank
I was shocked and I was joking
But I would not be longing
'Cause I got Jim and Jack and Hank

Take your string bikinis, your apple martinis
Take what’s left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
Your sparkling water and that damn perfume I never liked
Take your black Mercedes all that stuff for ladies
To me you’re just a total blank
Go on and leave me baby
I don’t need you, I got Jim and Jack and Hank

Well, now you left screaming and your tires screeching
That little dog right in your lap
I have become a little sad and I called up my old dad
He said son you just woke me from my nap
I told him you had left me
He said now son don’t you hate me
You know exactly what I think
You know you’re better off
You can fish and you can golf
You still got Jim and Jack and Hank

Take your string bikinis, your apple martinis
Take what’s left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
Your sparkling water and that damn perfume I never liked
Take your black Mercedes all that stuff for ladies
To me you’re just a total blank
go on and leave me baby
I don’t need you, I got Jim and Jack and Hank
That’s right!

So I got out the whiskey
I began to listen to songs out in my truck you couldn’t crank
I started feeling empty, then again it hit me
I got Jim and Jack and Hank

Take your string bikinis, your apple martinis
Take what’s left there in the bank
Take your flat iron and your curlers
Your sparkling water and that damn perfume I never liked
Take your black Mercedes all that stuff for ladies
To me you’re just a total blank
Go on and leave me, baby
I don’t need you, I got Jim and Jack and Hank
Yeah, now go on and leave me baby
I don’t need you, I got Jim and Jack and Hank

That’s right! 
You go ahead, I’ll be a-okay
'Cause I've got Jose
Captain Morgan
Not to mention Old George and Tammy
Loretta and Merle, Willie Nelson, Big John Cash
How about ole Jimmy Buffet bring him in there 
With that sun shine
George Strait an old friend
Can’t forget Hank Jr. and all his rowdy friends
I’m gonna clean out the whole closet, baby
Oh yeah
Goodbye