I did not ask for a lot this year
Every single day
Looking for an answer to the words you say
Never got to meet the President
Never got to shake his squirly hand
Oh, don't you know the President
Is out for tea with Tony Blair
He won't be back for hours maybe, homeboy

I'd be so happy if I got to meet George Bush
He's like an angel when Rebecca hears me calling
I would dance on NBC and say
'George Bush shook hands with me'
Then I'd go and choke on a cock

And Guinevere would find me leaving home
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone, I know
I'd be the greatest singer on the radio

Leaning on the raging river flats
Sliding off a single blade of grass
Oh, don't you know the A.D.A.
Is brushing teeth with Johnny J
They won't be smashing flowers, meet me no more

I'd be so happy if I bid it all on you
And never answer when Rebecca asks me questions
I'd lay down to some degree
And say John Stern locked lips with me
And then I'd go and choke
For then I'd go and choke
For then I'd go and choke on a cock