She was a pseudo-intellectual
Rendered me ineffectual
She learned how to be sexual
From reading Song of Songs
To her I was a hippie freak
Who she'd date and drop in about a week
But man she had a hot physique
It really turned me on
I met her in a coffee house
I's on the road just east of Taos
On Monday nights she let it out
By reading Donne and Shelly
Mousy brown in a five inch braid
Her clothes were Laura Ashley made
But hey let's call a spade a spade
She had a smooth tan belly
She was over-educated
Not like other girls I dated
She was very rarely sated
If you know what I mean
Once you've had a girl from brandies
'Fore you go back you will think twice
Other women are like white rice
Is what she whispered to me

CHORUS

And I don't know if it's a step forward or back
When the Dalai Lama's gotta call Seattle just to reach Nirvana Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford are on the wrong track
When the Virgin in the manger is the other Madonna

I was looking for the ballet
When I stumbled in the alley
And I thought of sneaking sally
But that was a stupid thought
I bumped in to Ike Turner
Asked me for a bunsen burner
I should've looked a little sterner
Cause his right hand my chin caught
I said "Ike save it for Tina"
But that only made him meaner
Man them crackheads sure are weiners
And they seldom take a joke
So I tried to get in wit him
Tried to schmooze him not to dis him
But off that only pissed him and
He took another poke
My prediciment was scary
Man the scene was really hairy
When I started off proud mary
I was fearful for my life
But on the river we were rollin'
Ike's ego was really swollen
So the two of us went bowling
Scored a vial and a pipe

CHORUS

Well I told you I felt awkward
When you said I'm moving backward
But I'd rather use a black word
To describe my downward spiral
Motivation gland has cancer
Radiation's not the awnser
It's not a boil I can lance or
Escape with cake and file
If my only sin is lethargy
My treatments of the meth are free
But I can't arrive there vis a v's
My remote control
All my heros all are zeros
Who just sow their wild beer oats
All my other idols weirdos
Slowly black holes take their toll
In the decade i hit puberty
A poser was so cool to be
But now just put a fork in me
I doubt that it would sting
Cause the plastic all has melted
We hit bottom and I felt it
All the copper that we smelted
Is why the caged bird sings

CHORUS