He had what you might call a trivial occupation
He cleaned the platforms of the local railway station
With no romance in his life
Sometimes he wished he had a wife

He read the matrimonial advertising pages
The cries for help from different people different ages
But they had nothing to say (nothing to say)
At least not until the day (‘til that day)
When something special he read
This is what it said

If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get
Two for the price of one
We’re the answer if you feel blue
So call us and get
Two for the price of one

If you dream of the girl for you (if you are dreaming of the one which will be right for you)
Then call us and get (why don’t you call us and you’ll get two)
Two for the price of one
We’re the answer if you feel blue (we may be the answer to your problem - if by chance you feel blue) 
So call us and get (why don’t you call us and you’ll get two)
Two for the price of one

He called the number and a voice said
Alice Whiting
The voice was husky and it sounded quite exciting
He was amazed at his luck
The purest streak of gold he’d struck

He said I read your ad it sounded rather thrilling
I think a meeting could be mutually fulfilling
Why don’t we meet for a chat? (meet for a chat)
The three of us in my flat (in my flat)
I can’t forget what I read
This is what it said

If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get
Two for the price of one
We’re the answer if you feel blue
So call us and get
Two for the price of one

If you dream of the girl for you (if you are dreaming of the one which will be right for you)
Then call us and get (why don’t you call us and you’ll get two)
Two for the price of one
We’re the answer if you feel blue (we may be the answer to your problem - if by chance you feel blue) 
So call us and get (why don’t you call us and you’ll get two)
Two for the price of one

She said, I’m sure we must be perfect for each other
And if you doubt it, you’ll be certain when you meet my mother