I'm tryin' not to panic, I'm gettin' all romantic
Gettin' soft with everything I say and do.
I'm talkin' hours on the phone, puttin' on that sweet cologne
I'm even puttin' down the toilet seat for you.

Aw, wait a minute, it gets worse.
I found myself holdin' your purse, standin' outside that bra and panty store.
My boss's wife walked by, she spotted me and told me hi
And I knew then, I was in for it for sure.

Now all the boys down at the shop know and they sure do find it funny.
They say you've changed my ways and that you're spending all my money, honey.

If you're not in love,
If you're not in love,
If you're not in love,
Aw, if you're not in love,
Then I'm in a lot of trouble.

I got this lump in my throat, then I sold my boat
So I could buy this diamond ring for you.
Now I'm hopin' and I'm wishin' that since I can't go fishin',
You won't make me sell my golf clubs, too.

The boys down at the shop know and they laugh until I cry
I told 'em, if I mess this up, my momma's gonna tan my hide.

If you're not in love,
If you're not in love,
If you're not in love,
Aw, if you're not in love,
Then I'm in a lot of trouble.

I gave up that can of Snuff, no more NASCAR on TV.
Honey, if that ain't enough, this may be the death of me.

If you're not in love,
If you're not in love,
If you're not in love,
Aw, if you're not in love,
Then I'm in a lot of trouble.

If you're not in love,
If you're not in love,
If you're not in love,
Aw, if you're not in love,
Then I'm in a lot of trouble.