Mean Mister Mustard sleeps in the park 
        Shaves in the dark trying to save paper 
        Sleeps in a hole in the road 
        Saving up to buy some clothes 
        Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose 
        Such a mean old man 
        Such a mean old man 
      His sister Pam works in a shop 
        She never stops, she`s a go-getter 
        Takes him out to look at the queen 
        Only place that he`s ever been 
        Always shouts out something obscene 
        Such a dirty old man 
        Dirty old man