I looked in the mirror 
(What did you see looking at you?) 
I saw a nine stone weakling 
(What will you do?) 
Dynamic Tension waiting for you? 
Dynamic Tension make a man out of you 
I opened my magazine 
(What did you see?) 
I saw Mr. France 
(What did he have?) 
A girl on each shoulder 
(What else?) 
And one in his pants 
Dynamic Tension can do this for you 
Dynamic Tension make a man out of 
You you you you you 
So our hero goes down to the beach 
He's in real terrible shape 
His chick's been seen with big Alex 
That mother kicked sand in his face 
Now let me tell you about Alex 
He's got: 
Hands like hams 
Knees like trees 
200 lbs 
Of surfboard Hercules 
Mr. Atlas won't you bring her on back to me 
I lost my girl down by the beach 
She's with Alex and she's out of reach 
So please Mr. Atlas won't you bring her on back to me 
I saw your body in an advert on T.V. 
But what convinced me was your money back guarantee 
Now I'm stronger than Alex 
(Where is he now?) 
He's left in disgrace 
(Oh yeah?) 
`Cos I took back my girlfriend 
(Ha, ha, ha, ha) 
And kicked sand in his face 
(In his eyes, in his ears, in his nose) 
Dynamic Tension waiting for you 
Dynamic Tension make a man out of you 
Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension 
Dynamic Tension, Dynamic Tension