We were driving to Birmingham, Alabama and my buddy Keith was driving the truck

And this lady about ran us off the road in a cadillac.

She just kinda smiled when she went by, and he has road rage and he said look at that Big Fat Bitch



So I grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went



Big fat bitch

she's a big ol big ol fat bitch

she goes to Ryan's and they say, "Shit!

this one's gonna cost us...

she's a big ol bitch!"

She's a big ol bitch



She sweats grits

you can hide a pound of dope

under one of her tits



Big fat bitch

She's a big ol bitch



Who stole Christmas?

The Grinch

Who stole the Twinkies?

big fat bitch!



She's a big ol bitch



Yeah she had this cajun friend

who had a pet alligator

She ate that some-bitch

like it was a green Now N Later

or a fried green da-mator

You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush

to masterbate her



She's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol bitch



When she was eight years old she had a Pogo stick that would say, "hey Wanda!"

And they'd go "song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong"

And now her pogo stick says, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

And they go "Bount. Bount."



She's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol bitch



She gargles and drools and spits

and she makes all kinds of noise

She chases the ice cream man down Cunningham

in her corduroys



She's a big ol bitch

She's a big ol big fat bitch!!!!