We've been together for so very long,
But now things are changing, oh,
I wonder what's wrong
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem,
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling, y
ou don't love me anymore

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh, darling, I'm beggin':
won't you put down that knife?

You know, I even think it's kind of cute, the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed,
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft

Oh, if you don't mind me asking,
What's this poisonous cobra doing
in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes, I get to thinking
You don't love me anymore

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill,
Now my scars are all healing,
but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chesthairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think I'm ugly
and you say I'm cheap,
You shaved off my eyebrows
while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch
and left me for dead

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all,
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me,
You don't love me anymore
Oh no, no..
Got a funny feeling,
you don't love me anymore