Hearin' people scream
 Sittin' in the waiting room
 Readin' crappy magazines
 With a toothache
 This is it, pal
 Root canal
 My molars are impacted
 I'm gettin' gum disease
 I'm gonna need some fillings
 Got twelve cavities
 Can you help me
 Have mercy
 Doctor, please

 My teeth are a fright
 Got a huge overbite
 Numb me, drill me
 Floss me, bill me

 You jab at my nerve endings
 It's driving me insane
 Just give me nitrous oxide
 Shoot me up with novocaine
 Help me out here
 'Cause I'm in severe
 Pain
 Please stop for a bit
 Now let me rinse and spit
 Numb me, drill me
 Floss me, bill me

 You validate my parking
 I think that I'm okay
 But you my one more appointment for
 A week from Saturday
 'Cause you came upon
 A little problem on
 My x-ray
 Oy vey!

 It's getting absurd
 Well, I hope I'm insured, now
 Numb me, drill me
 Floss me, bill me