This play is too long
 I must be going
 Extend my regrets
 I gave it my best
 But now I'm going
 This is too much for me to take
 Something tells me that she's faking it
 She says she don't care
 She wants to be fair
 She must be joking
 It's simple she said
 Let's not lose our head
 Tell me she's joking
 This is too much for me to take
 But somebody isn't faking
 Someone's heart is breaking
 And if you see her give her my critique
 She's a bad little actress
 Gets no curtain call
 But the worst of all
 When the curtain falls
 There's no one at the backstage door

 I'm more than her friend
 'Cause I knew her when
 She was no sensation
 She's wasting our time
 Repeats all her lines
 What's her motivation?
 Now she won't share her stage with me
 Her performance was outrageous
 Put me through some changes
 So if you see her give her my critique
 She's a bad little actress
 Her delivery don't come naturally
 Anyone could see she doesn't mean a word she says
 Her mascara ran
 And the show was panned
 But I'm still her biggest fan
 So when you see her give her my critique
 She's a bad little actress
 Gets no curtain call
 But the worst of all
 When the curtain falls
 There's no one at the backstage door