Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things as they are said to be
Said one to the others: "Now listen, you two
There’s a certain rumor that can’t be true

That man descended from our noble race
The very idea is a huge disgrace!"

“No monkey has ever deserted his wife
Starved her babies, and ruined her life
And you’ve never known a mother monk
To leave her babies with others to bunk
Or pass them on from one to the other 
'Til they scarcely know who is their mother

“And another thing you'll never see
A monk build a fence 'round a coconut tree
And let the coconuts go to waste
Forbidding all other monks to taste

Why, if I built a fence around this tree
Starvation would force you to steal from me

“And another thing a monk won’t do 
Go out at night and get in a stew
Or use a gun or club or a knife
To take some other monkey’s life

Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss
But brother, he didn’t descend from us!”