[Too $hort]

These are the tales

These are the tales that I tell so well

(tune in to the history channel)

These are the tales (learn a lesson biatch)

these are the tales that I tell so well (Short Dog)

I'm thinkin' way back, it's been a long long time

In 1980 I wrote my first rhyme

I like to spit a lot of game

but back then, I was just sayin' my name

I had a record player, on my stereo

Got down on my knees with my radio

From Oakland California with some new shit

I'm Sir Too $hort I'm bout to do this

In 1981, that's where it all begun

We do it for the money we don't rap for fun

Five dolla's fo' a tape, Too $hort and Freddy B

Money in my pocket's all I ever need

It was me, Fred B, and Freddy Brack 

Dipped the sermon sticks then we smoked them phat

While we rapped about the bitches and all the ho's 

Can't be in the hole tryin' to ball without vogues

In '82 you was in the game

with a Falcon, Cougar or a Mustang

Me and Freddy B used to hit the turfs

with a bag of tapes puttin in work, Biatch

In '83 you hit a house party

a dolla' get you in and a dolla' fo' a drink

I'm on the turntable smokin' get-right

and at mid-night I'll be rappin' on the mic

I did the same thang, for the next two years

That's why they say my name, when I come through here

When I was 16, I want'd to be a mack

I went to Fremont High with Lil' D and Black

Young ballers in the town livin' real phat

Never had the sack but I smoked a little crack

Crushed up in the weed, we call em bass rock Caddies

Goin' on them grimmies make them ho's call me daddy



[Hook] 

These are the tales, these are the tales that I tell so well

These are the tales, these are the tales that I tell so well



[Too $hort]

It's been 15 years since that shit happened

But Too $hort don't stop rappin'

In '85, I was on the right page

Ten thousand niggaz, $hort live on stage

Underground tapes was all they ever heard

but the whole crowd sang along with me word for word

And that changed everything

Went to Seventy Five Girls and hooked up with Dean

Real player-ism and that's no joke

Snort a lot of coke with ho's that like to smoke

I was makin' records but wasn't makin' money

you can take it seriously or you can think its funny

By '87, I was on my own, started Dangerous Music

and I made the song "These are the tales, the freaky tales"

No radio or video or CD sales

Six platinums in a row Ice Cube and Cool J

Who else did that shit? $hort Dog from the Bay

These ho's try to play it safe

but I been mackin' hard since eighty-eight

And from eighty-nine to ninety-six

I was rappin' on the mic talkin' shit about a bitch

I'll retire 10 times and I'll still be here

My old records sell about a half a mil' a year

I say "bitch get naked" so pimpishly

spit rhymes through decades and centuries

And bitches just love my dirty mouth

when I see you again I'ma cuss you out, BIATCH!

That's my gift, now all you rappers get to say that shit

I wont sue you, but that's the trademark

I was a grown ass man when you was playin' in the park lil' nigga



[Hook]



[Too $hort]

Now I'm in Atlanta I still love the O

I gave you my bitch but you can't have my flow

I guest appeared on 47 albums

Fuck McDonalds and fuck Calvin

I get money with Erick Sermon when I'm in New York

I get respect, they call me Too $hort

I live swell in A.T.L. cause I'm a player

We fuckin' hella ho's at X House in Decatur where it's greater

You know how we ride

I got love for all niggaz from the EastSide

It was me, Ant Banks and Shorty B

All we need to do is find my nigga PeeWee

We used to be on Murdel Street makin' funky songs

if you see him tell him Short said its back on

Lets get this money, midwest down South

East coast West coast ride out, BIATCH



[Too $hort talking over Hook]

That's my gift to rap, you can have that word

Say bitch all you want, all you regular fake ass niggas

You finally get to have Too $hort's bitch, trick



[Hook]