I gave up pimento cheese
D-D-Domino's delivery
Whiskey sours
Apple pies
Finger-licking chicken fried
Are gastronomic history

I used to like them scary shows
But I gave them up a while ago
Don't do no dip-defying
Rollercoster riding
Now days I just take it slow
Every since we started dating
I been compensating
To keep from getting up
To hell any quicker
'Cause

She's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
That girl is such a hazard that she oughta have a sticker
Saying hard on the ticker

Now when she wiggles through my door
My chin gets heavy hits the floor
Silky hair, garnet lips
Swinging double-jointed hips
My blood begins to roar

And when she nibbles on my ear
It's partly pleasure, partly beer
Little dab is all it takes
To get my heart a palpatating
Feeling like the end is near
I oughta get a policy
A double indemity
It'd make my beneficiary
A whole lot richer
'Cause

She's hard on the ticker (hard on the ticker)
Hard on the ticker (hard on the ticker)
That girl is such a hazard that she oughta have a sticker
Saying hard on the ticker

That's my girl
Yeah, she's hard on the ticker
I oughta get a policy
A double indemity
It'd make my benificiary
A whole lot richer

Because she's hard on the ticker (hard on the ticker)
Hard on the ticker (hard on the ticker)
This girl is such a hazard that she oughta have a sticker
Saying hard on the ticker

Oh, she's hard on the ticker
Hard on the ticker
She's hard on the ticker
Hey, she's hard on the ticker