We picked out a house
We picked out our bed
We picked out a pup from the kennel
And started life in full
We hung some pictures on the walls
Our nearest, dearest friends
We don't see much of them
Most nights we've been staying in
Practicing our monogamy.

Friday nights in autumn
Dressed in fleece for high school football
Some of our friends have sons and daughters at St. Pious
The Heneley's already have four
Our bedrooms been less than intimate so I've been taking longer showers
We sleep different hours and the weekends you're so tired
Now it's birthday's and anniversary's

Monogamy...
Monogamy...

We both have regrets
Those roads we never drove
But it's pointless to dwell in the what if's
I mean what if we had never met
At least there's a mortgage over our heads
No, no, no, a roof's what I meant to say
So we're stuck in a few ruts my independence is all but shriveled up
I guess that's the price we pay for monogamy
Monogamy, ohhh.

I tighten my tie
I zip up your dress
I check the invitation on the fridge,
Come celebrate with Tom and Kate ten years of wedded bliss
Tom meets us at the door and takes our coats Kate stays in that kitchen
I begin to say hello, she's sobbing on the telephone
How do we keep up this charade?

Monogamy
Monogamy, ohhh.
Monogamy, monogamy, ohhh, ohhh.
Monogamy, monogamy.