Fill my sandwich my sandwich my sandwich with snot
With bogeys and mucus and whatever you've got
Piss on my pork pie piss on my veg
Cum over my croutons and shoot sperm on my eggs

Into my soup your pimples please squeeze
Wipe your arse wipe your arse on my cheese
Into my broth your blood please
If you've got if you've got a disease

The waiter
He's a masturbator
The waiter
He's a masturbator

Well dunk your dick in my toad-in-the-hole
I think you're a bastard without a soul
Dunk your dick in my donut
I think you're a maniac and a nut

The waiter
He's a masturbator
The waiter
He's a masturbator

If you had seen how he creamed
How he creamed my potatoes
Well he must be
He must be a masturbator

But worst of all he's been sick in my soup
And into my vol-au-vents he has pooped