Uncle Bill and auntie Mary 
Always used to shout 
And uncle Bill would knock 
Auntie Mary about 
With auntie Mary 
In such misery 
I always thought that cancer 
Was like the cavalry 

When cancer cut Bill down 
They said what a crying shame 
Well I never thought so 
And Mary did the same 
Let's face it Bill 
You were a bastard through and through 
So when that cancer cut him down 
I did not feel blue 

Cancer cancer it's so good for you 
Cancer cancer it's so good for you 
The big C was like the cavalry 

When he was on his deathbed 
One day for a joke 
Me and auntie Mary 
Fun at him we poked 
As he lay there 
In his abject pain 
Me and auntie Mary 
We sung him this refrain 

Cancer cancer it's so good for you ... 

When he died 
Later that same day 
Me and auntie Mary 
For him didn't pray 
But sometimes on a winter's night 
Though he has been long gone 
Me and auntie Mary 
Still sing the same song 

Cancer cancer it's so good for you ...