I sing a lament
     The world isn't round
     It's Twisted and Bent

     But to face doom in a sock-stenched room all by myself
     Is the kind of fate I never contemplate

     That reminds me of the time I felt
     It's time for sin and catholic guilt
     Two years later to the day
     I had reason to confess
     With her hair a shining shade
     Of bus-conductress blonde
     Tales of music and movement
     Were told in grip and groan
     But to put these thoughts
     In songs like theirs
     Of the honest truth
     There'd be no trace
     Just lying out loud

     Good God give me strength to face another lazy day of
     "If I was a millionaire I'd be a million miles from here"

     You came into my life like a brick through a window
     And I cracked a smile

     I know her face so well
     Although the color of her eyes
     Escapes me for the moment
     Though her embrace
     Is like being short-changed

     But if I knew what made carpets fly
     I wouldn't be sitting here
     Twiddling my thumbs
     I'd threadbare my soul
     And wheedle my way
     Into other people's lives
     And out of my own

     So typical - a battle of wits
     And I've come half prepared

     Now we raised a toast to celebrate
     As December's embers fade
     But every fire is just a hoax
     For January's little joke


     Halfway to paralyzed my understudy's eyes grew tired
     Every actor hides a heckle,
     doctor hydes a jekyll
     See through my disguise

     But I forget the conversation we had
     I don't remember what you said or did
     That made you so attractive

     I'm immortal
     And that's no life at all