Stop me, oh, stop me 
Stop me if you think that you've 
Heard this one before 
Stop me, oh, stop me 
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before 

Nothing's changed 
I still love you, oh, I still love you 
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love 

I was delayed, I was way-laid 
An emergency stop 
I smelt the last ten seconds of life 
I crashed down on the crossbar 
And the pain was enough to make 
A shy, bald, buddhist reflect 
And plan a mass murder 
Who said lied I'd to her?

Oh, who said I'd lied because I never? I never !
Who said I'd lied because I never? 
I was detained, I was restrained 
And broke my spleen 
And broke my knee 
and then he really laced into me
Friday night in Out-patients 
Who said I'd lied to her? 

Oh, who said I'd lied? - because I never, I never 
Who said I'd lied ? - because I never 

Oh, so I drank one 
It became four 
And when I fell on the floor ...
...I drank more 

Stop me, oh, stop me 
Stop me if you think that you've 
Heard this one before 
Stop me, oh, stop me 
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before 

Nothing's changed 
I still love you, oh, I still love you 
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love