No pizza has arrived
And i am so hungry
I rang up at 6:25
For a delivery
Even though i could
Have gone out
I can't be arsed tonoight
It reminds me that i'm so fat
I'm so fat.

No pizza has arrived
And i am so hungry
I rang up at 6:25
For a delivery
Even though i could
Have gone out
I can't be arsed tonoight
It reminds me that i'm so fat
I'm so fat.

Hello is that dominose I want a large magaritta
I want cheese and chicken and ham on the pizza
I phoned you up 10 minutes ago maybe you forgotten
Maybee it was when you got referbished or something
Sometimes you can't find things where you left them
Anyways, fuck it you've got it now, there's my order
Can I have 2, I want one for my brother
My wife just gave birth to a daughter guess what I called her, magaretta
I heard about the fire too, I'm sorry
My brother had a company that got burnt down on him
If you haven't run out can I have extra ham
I need it for my dog, his names sam
I like the way you make your pizzas man
I like the boxes to they're great for making hats
Anyways I hope my pizza arives soon I need it to stay fat
Truly yours your best customer this is Stan





No pizza has arrived
And i am so hungry
I rang up at 6:25
For a delivery
Even though i could
Have gone out
I can't be ased tonight
It reminds me that i'm so fat
I'm so fat.

Hello is that dominoes, i'm still waiting for my Pizza it better be here soon
I ain't mad i just think that you should treat your customers better
If you don't want to take my order you don't have to
But you could at least let me know, other companies do
That includes pizza hut when they stoped i got told
I had been going there since i was 16 years old, with long hours
And you just ignore me, That's crap i'm always loyal to you
I want to be your customer i love your company to
I ain't mad i just don't like waiting when i got things to do
Remember last time you delivered you said i was your special customer
I just want you to heat my piazza and deliver
I always enjoy it when i give you my order
I can see that if you're busy it takes long
But you're never this busy, unless i'm wrong
You should treat me good cause me and you are the best
I tell all my friends that you're better then the rest
Sometimes i time myself to see how long it takes to eat
It's the highlight of the day, i go slower with extra toppings
See all the stuff you sell is great and i love you 'cause it's cheap
I told my girlfriend the whole menu and she was jealous
But she don't understand my love for pizza, only you do
She don't know why i count down the minutes from when i ring you
You better deliver it soon, i'l be the best customer you ever lost
Sencierly yours stan, P.S how much does pizza hut next to you cost








No pizza has arrived
And i am so hungry
I rang up at 6:25
For a delivery
Even though i could
Have gone out
I can't be ased tonight
It reminds me that i'm so fat
I'm so fat.

Dear Mr Pizza company that's so good they don't care about their customers
This will be the last time I ever ring you up
It's been 2 hours now and still no pizza for tea
I know you got my orders you said you would send extra ham free
So This Is the message I'm leaving you
I hope you don't record over it I'm in Pizza hut now with a bomb
Hey dominoes i ate almost all the pizzas dare me to carry on
You know that song by Eminem and dido, stan
About that crazy emienem fan who wrote the letter
But eminem didn't write back and stan killed himself in the river
That's like this is you could have saved me if you had responded to my order
But now it's too late I've got a petrol bomb And I've eaten loads
All I wanted was my and my brothers mageritta
I hope you know you've made me hate your pizza
I love you dominoes I could 've still been your customer
But you lost me know
I hope you can't survive and you go down the pan
And when you go bust you loose your job and you get a ban
I hope your company totally fails
See dominoes, shut it cow I'm on the phone
Hey dominoes that's my girlfriend screaming in the oven
But I didn't over-heat her I just heated her up
See I don't do it how you do
Caus'e if I only warm her and leave her in there she'll die to
We'll gotta go i'm just about to set the bomb off now
Oh shit I forgot I ain't suppose to record this






No pizza has arrived
And I am so hungry
I rang up at 6:25
For a delivery
Even though I could
Have gone out
I can't be arsed tonight
It reminds me that I'm so fat
I'm so fat

Dear Stan, we're getting your pizza ready now we've been very busy
I put in extra ham for your dog sam, it's free
Were really proud that you would call your kid that
We'll sent you an origamy book so you can make more hats
I'm sorry You still ain't got your pizza We will get it to you
Don't think we are ignoring you we have other customers to
But what is this stuff you tell us how you eat the pizza is up to you
We just heat them and deliver them as quick as possible to you
I think you need to stop getting in a mood
Other wise you'll die from anger and not eating the right food
But what you on about moving in to Pizza hut so your closer
I really think you and your girl friend need to talk together
Or maybe you should just be less of a fool
I hope you get to here this call
I hope You hear it tonight
Before you get hurt
I think you do all right
If you eat different foods
I'm glad you like our pizza but don't be mad
Just try and understand
That we do want you as a customer
I just don't want you do something stupid
I read about some stuff that made me feel like a helpless flid
Some dude ate loads of Pizza and was in Pizza hut
And had a petrol bomb and blew the whoe place up
On the phone they found a message but they didn't know who it was to
Come to think about the message was from Stan that's you
Dam