I don't know why but today seems like it's gonna be a great day!
There's something in the air that makes me feel like things are gonna go my way
The birds are chirping tweedly-deet, the sun is shining bright!
There's a skip in my step, a pip in my pep [Snort] and I don't know why!

Hey there mailman friend, any letters from my ex-wife or the kids?
No
Fantastic news, HaHaHaHa!

Wonderful day makes me feel so happy that my face is numb!
My heart is racing along barapa pampam!
So many places and people to meet, now that I've lost my job!
They say "Young man, the world's your oyster"
Hey! Hey get the fuck off me! No! Fuck no!

[Sniffle] Just give me second. [Snort]
I don't know why but today seems like it's gonna be a great day!
Lalala blah blah blah blah I should spend more time with my kids!
It's carpe diem, gotta seize the day, I'm gonna move to Spain and run with the bulls
And my wife and boss and kids and parents will say "We were wrong about you Dennis"

Hey Dennis!
That's my name!
Are you really gonna run with the bulls?
Why would I do that?
Cause you said you were gonna!
Come on man, that was like three days ago - or was it?

Something today makes me feel fine and fancy-free
Much of the ocean is still unexplored, how did I get up in this tree?
Now I'm over here, now I'm over there
Now I'm under this dude, now I'm back in the tree
Now I'm hanging out backstage with my very best friends: Alec Baldwin and Tom Petty!

Get the fuck out of here!
What?
Now.
Tom!

Why would they diss me?
I thought they were my homies! [Snort]

Any problem is solvable, we can feed the hungry and cure disease
But all of that would be a huge waste of time because we live in the matrix.

[Grunts]
What is wrong with him?
[Grunts]
He's on drugs.
Oh.
[Spits]