PdÂ… First we have The Fleetwoods
A very successful group
Lets send them to Alaska
To entertain our troops
And while theyre out there singing
And putting on their show
The temperature around them will be 45 below

Wo-wo-wo-wo
Im Mr. Blue
When I say Im freezing
Just turn around, head for the warmth of town
Im freezing through and through
Call me Mr. Blue

Next the Hollywood Argyles
A very fine group of kids
Wed like to send them packing
On a downhill pair of skids

Theres a group that we know of
That a-awful hip
Alley Oop-Oop, Oop, Oop-oop
We kinda like to send them on a little trip
Alley Oop-Oop, Oop, Oop-oop
Where they oughta go we cannot tell
Alley Oop-Oop, Oop, Oop-oop
But its awful hot, and it rhymes with swell
California?

And while theyre down there working
They wont be all alone
Theyll run into another group thats even hot back home

They asked me how I knew
Our career was through
Oh-oh
I of course reply
Something here inside
Cannot be denied
Do do do, do do do, do do do wah
Smoke gets in your
Eyes

Sailing Sailing, over the ocean blue
Hail the Kingston Trio
Cubas calling you-ou-ou-ou!

We found the Kingston Trio
They hung around Havana
To do a few encores
Castro said I like em
Lets hang em up some more
Now he has all three
Hanging permanently

Hang down the Kingston Trio
Hang em from a tall oak tree
Eliminate the Kingston Trio
More money for you and me

Next are the Four Freshmen
I DONT KNOW THIS LINE--GIVE ME A BREAK!
Of course theyve been Four Freshmen
For almost twenty years
It isnt that theyre stupid
Well a little maybe so
They cant afford to graduate
Theyre making too much dough

In this whole wide world
Is there nowhere to send them
Is there no one place
We can tell them to go

Dion and the Belmonts
Are driving us to tears
Lets send them up the river
For about a hundred years
While the kids are watching Dion singing about the 
stars
The Belmonts are out in the parking lot stealing 
hubcaps off
of cars

Each time I steal a hubcap
It almost breaks my heart
Why must I steal a hubcap
Why do I have to start
Each night I ask the stars without fail
Why must I be a teenager in jail?

Where these groups all come from
We really do not know
But if they ever ask us
We will tell them where to go! Â…Pd.
Â…PdÂ…