He loved his ma, and his dog, and his stay-pressed jungle greens
He ate more hot dinners (than) any man ever seen
This world will not witness the likes of him again
Wild Jack Hammer was a prince among men

He was a saint, but not in the conventional sense
You couldn't hang him 'round your neck for 4 pound and 99 pence
Now he's gone, and you're here, and it's all in the past
But Wild Jack Hammer, he was in a different class

You are not fit to piss against the same garage wall,
To be allowed to expound, to do anything at all
And you smile at my face and slag me off behind my back
But Wild Jack Hammer never treated me like that
Oh, if I only had a fiver for every clown like you
I'd have so much bread I wouldn't know what to do
I think I'd buy a container and put you all inside
And let Wild Jack Hammer come and take you for a ride

Oh, you are gods, you are leaners, you are one big family
And then you fly down the mountain on the universal ski
And then you all talk shit until the cows come home
With Wild Jack Hammer on your fake car phone

Oh, it's a joke, it's a laugh, it's a rib-splitting crack,
But your eyes never smile, and they're always looking back
And we dream of returning but we don't know how
Wild Jack Hammer, man, we really need you now