(Heaton/Rotheray)

'I fought hard in the Second World War' 

You hear them shout 

No good bragging about the Afrika Korps 

It was Beadle's About 



They dressed you up and took you off to World War One 

Armed you and surrounded you with wire 

Sat in stinking mud you sung your stupid songs 

And waited till they told you when to fire 



Cause the rulers always laugh 

At a video bloodbath 

Nothing makes them laugh 

Like a video bloodbath 



From the First World War to the Yom-Kippur 

It was Beadle's About 

The bayonets slice, the rockets roar 

And he jumps out 



Fond memories of the bloody bridge you failed to hold 

Many of your buddies killed or maimed 

You would've shot at rabbits if that's what you'd been told 

Till the General said 'I'm sorry you've been framed' 



Cause the rulers always laugh 

At a video bloodbath 

And nothing gets a laugh 

Like a video bloodbath 



Chorus: 

Keep those entries coming 

Leave those cameras running 

Keep those entrails coming 

Leave those soldiers gunning 

Because you're sure to get a laugh 

With a video bloodbath 

Nothing gets a laugh 

Like a video bloodbath 



Here's a wacky video we got last week 

A bomb catches Arthur unawares 

He's lost both his arms and he can't see or speak 

But thank you for the memory you shared 



Cause the rulers always laugh 

At a video bloodbath 

And nothing gets a laugh 

Like a video bloodbath 



Chorus