When was the last time you felt so happy

You had to give yourself a good pinch

When did you ever fail one of life's highs

Without using stepladder or winch

That's why the lifeless crave the past

'Cause when they're flogged, stoned, lynched

They can watch the living fizzle out to nought

Without even moving one inch



That's what keeps you alive

The thought of undeserved death

That's why cynics deep-sea dive

Just to watch someone healthy lose breath

That's what really makes you tick

When the fearless are stopped in their tracks

Optimism looks up counts the stars

Pessimism looks down and counts cracks



That Monday morning moaners club

That meet every week on park bench

At least they've earned their grumble stripes

When they fought tooth and nail in the trench

If you ever sat down in one place too long

They'd need a fork-lift truck and a wrench

Indecision drip feeds modesty

But apathy fails even to quench

That's what keeps you alive

The thought of undeserved death

That's why cynics deep-sea dive

Just to watch someone healthy lose breath

That's what really makes you tick

When the fearless are stopped in their tracks

Optimism looks up counts the stars

Pessimism looks down and counts cracks



And even when it's every man for himself

You still like to stick with the bunch

You'd rather tag along at the back of the crowd

To risk anything on a hunch



That's what keeps you alive

The thought of undeserved death

That's why cynics deep-sea dive

Just to watch someone healthy lose breath

That's what really makes you tick

When the fearless are stopped in their tracks

Optimism looks up counts the stars

Pessimism looks down and counts cracks