It took a few packed bags and a few slammed doors

It took a false, false smile with a septic pause

From my plastic moustache to your clip-on claws

(In other words I hate you)



It took a thousand fights with a thousand draws

It took a blinkered vision for a long lost cause

As Romeo leaves to light applause

(And softly says I hate you)



My attitude leaves a lot to be desired

My fashion sense has never been quite right

But I'd rather live in drainpipes

Than with friends that I've acquired

(In so many words I hate you)



Those winter nights just spent indoors

That criminal fizz in the drink he pours

We smooch all night to "The Theme From Jaws"

(In other words I hate you)



What's yours is mine and mine is yours

A screaming for a get out clause

Here's the man with a thousand mother-in-laws

(In other words I hate you)



My looks leave a lot to be desired

My music taste has never been the trend

But me and Perry Como, well our patience has expired

In so many words I hate you