Somewhere between Never Neverland and Wonderland
In a land called Never Wonderland
There lived a beautiful wealthy young divorceé
With a checkered past and a bad memory
Who should probably remain nameless

And men traveled from far and wide and try to win her hand
And she took in stragglers from all over the known world
Her newest guests were as her mother called them
"The latest Russians to defect"
One's name was Hefner the other's name was Disney

Disney smoked a pipe and was very philosophical
He was constantly surrounded by go go girls
He used to take pictures of them without any clothes on
And sell them to the neighborhood children

Hefner on the other hand was not so introspective
He loved a good story just like anybody else
In fact he loved the myths of Never Wonderland so much
That he made elaborate molded plastic sculptures
Of the characters in the myths

And then he'd set them out in the garden
Until he had built a whole 'nother land in Never Wonderland
Which he called Hefnerland

The neighborhood children loved them
They had lots of fun playing in Hefnerland
And looking at all Disney's go go pictures
Because they didn't know any better
And they didn't know any worse

But the beautiful, wealthy, young divorceé thought
That they were only after her money
Sometimes she even wished they would go back to Russia
But between you and me they were really dupes of the Wicked King
Who wanted to rob the children of their dreams