{*a parody of Jay-Z's song "Hard Knock Life"*}



[Chorus]

It's a Star Trek life for us

It's a Star Trek life for us!

Steadda work-outs, feed my gut

Steadda drivin, beam me up!

It's a Star Trek life



[Verse One: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]

Standin on the line a-waitin', the new movie

And I've been here for a couple-of-days

I'm drivin a car that looks like a Klingon Bird of Prey

I know the exchange rate to convert dollars to latinum, you know my type

The perfect complement for when we dine, is Blood Wine

People think I'm out of my Vulcan mind, oh well

Where all my homes with the rubber ears, and fake hair

It may seem highly illogical, I don't care

I'd love to build a replica of Quark's, we don't dare

Get upset by all the snide remarks, and funny stares

I put on a Starfleet uniform and strutted, uh-huh

I put on some make-up so my face looked rutted, uh-huh

I grab a B'at L'eth and act like a hot-head

I met Marina Sirtis and greeted her like Butthead ("Hey baby!")

You know I'd love to take her out some day

But the Rules of Acquisition say she'd have to pay



[Chorus]

It's a Star Trek life for us

It's a Star Trek life for us

Steada pizza, we eat Gach

Steada Fido, he's Tuvac

It's a Star Trek life



[Verse Two: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]

My beer belly hangs out, of the t-shirt

That I've had since 1983, all faded and stained

We live at conventions, spendin my entire pension

I took a pill that made my blood turn green, I prefer that

I go to bed wishin, that I wake up on a five year mission

I had a vision of Gawron, said I have no honor

And I'll never get on a girl or two

But I'll lose my virginity if it's the last thing I do

I want all those cool toys, from the Klingon knives

To the phasers, transporters, holodecks, and warp drives

And it'd be great to let Seven of Nine assimilate me

Wait, but a Tribble wouldn't date me

Got a phaser for a remote control

Deflector dish for my cereal bowl

Lost my keys in a wormhole

My licence plate reads N-C-C-1-7-0-1-D

I only wish it could go Warp 3



[Chorus]

It's a Star Trek life for us

It's a Star Trek life for us

Steadda papers, read e-zines

Steadda mother-in-law, The Borg Qween

It's a Star Trek life for us

It's a Star Trek life for us

Steadda datin, we roll play

Steadda "good luck", say Q'apla!

It's a Star Trek life