{*a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot's song "Iron Man"*}



You can come and see my band, as I command

Heavy metal rhythms from a middle aged man

Smack my doggies when they crap on the rug

But then I feel bad because I love that pug

For years I've peddled, hard rock metal

Got a dozen lawsuits but I'm hoping to settle

I go on tour, the fans want more

I love to throw things at the people next door

I got kids showing up at all hours of the night

Can't stand it but I handle it and try to be polite

Gettin' old before my time thanks to Kelly and Jack

Arthritis in my knee and a crick in my back

Now I'm back on the scene 'though some find it obscene

I'll be rockin' like this till I rupture a spleen

A lot of dummies get money in a sound-alike band

But nothing there can compare to the true Ozzman



I hold the record in Guinness for bat heads finished

I'm finding new ways to mutilate the Queen's English

My son wears cammo, he wants live ammo

I can't allow that or the house'll go kablammo

I shave my stubble, I don't want trouble

But the prince of friggin' darkness doesn't need no damn bubbles

Like where I reside? I'll be your tour guide

I bought it for a song I wrote about suicide

The bad boy of rock, not to be mocked

Move onto my block and you might get shocked

We might seem weird but that's part of the drill

We're sane compared to the rest of Beverly Hills



Woah! Is that Ozzy?

Uh, huh huh huh. Ozzy's an old fart

{*both laugh*}

Yeah, heh heh. Woah, chick it out. A mini-Ozzy

Huh huh huh, yeah. He's a dork

Yeah. Um. Hey Butthead. What's all that beeping?

Uh, I dunno. Maybe there's a truck backing up or something

Yeah, heh heh. The Ozzmobile! Hehehe

{*Batman theme*} Du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh

Ddu-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh Ozzy!

Du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh..

Shut up, assmunch!

Heh, hmm heh. Sorry 'bout that

Beavis, check it out! A chick!

Hm, cool! Uuuum. What's the matter with her hair?

Uh huh huh. Come to Butthead

{*both chant Iron Man riff*}



Long hair I'm brushin', we have a discussion

And they bleep half the show 'cause we can't stop cussin'

I crunch a quarter note, I sacrifice a goat

I watch the weather channel 'cause I can't work the remote

MTV paid it, our show's the highest rated

Anna Nicole is just way too sedated

But sooner or later I'll need a translater

Mumble like Schwartzenegger in Terminator

Guitar chord ripper, Perrier sipper

Walk around the house in my fuzzy bunny slippers

Flesh like leather, worn and weathered

Take the blame a lot myself, but we're all in this together

My kids creations don't cause ovations

They don't have talent, but they have agents

Critics wanna diss, fans don't wanna miss

A lot of networks got a show but it ain't like this



Jack. Uh huh huh