(parody of "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot)



I feel sick and I just might die

And I honestly don't know why

But when my doc walked in with a huge seringe

And a big grin on his face I passed out

Which doctor is mine? Then I learned the witch doctor is mine

What in God's name am I wearin'?

My butt's stickin' out of the rear end

Oh my God, I wanna go back home

And go to the bathroom

My homeboys came to visit

The doc saw my cut and then he kissed it

A termometer he pulled out

But he doesn't wanna put it in my mouth

I said back up! Back up! 

'Cause you ain't gonna shove it in my butt

I feel much better now

To Hell with my medicine

My bed, lead! 

He's poking me all over my head

The food is made of slime

And it really should be a crime

Take the average dinner and eat this stuff

It comes right back up

So cooks (yeah) cooks (yeah)

Does it taste better coming back up (hell yeah)

My doctor said eat it (eat it) eat it (eat it)

It'll make you feel alright

Doc is a quack!

My doctor's a quack!



The nurse was big and round

She took up the whole town

I just couldn't help it when I saw her

My puke went flyin', without even tryin'

She knocked me down on the floor

Then "Clear (zap) clear (zap)"

I ain't takin' those pills

That's birth control, or couldn't you tell

The doctor came to test my reflex

But there's no reflex in

The middle of my chin

He hit me and my mouth caved in

I'm lookin' at all the other docs

Reputations solid as a rock

Why can't my Doc be smart

I'm stuck with Groucho Marx

Somebody get me some help please call a paramedic

My doc's pathetic

'Cause he wants to drill a hole in my head

I'm gonna scream till the break of dawn

What's my life worth?

He thinks I'm gonna give birth

This guy wants to search my body cavity

I'd rather be impaled on a fence

I'm restrained, I'm in pain

And my underwear's got a big stain

"Does this hurt?" yeah "Does this hurt?" yeah

As he keeps on pokin' my gizzard

He said open up, say ahhhh

Then he shoved the little stick in my eye

Doc is a quack!

My doctor's a quack!



They wheel me around in a gernie

I feel like I'm in Weekend At Bernie's

But Bernie never had to go through all of this torture

Which cost a fortune

All I want is to get out alive

He grabbed me and told me to cough

But he enjoyed it a little too much

Some people think I should try to sue him

'Cause my future's lookin' real grim

He cut me and enjoyed it

I didn't move fast enough to avoid it

He wants to cut open my brain

He thinks it'll stop the pain

But I know that's wrong and I just can't fight it

It's Appendicitis

A garden hose he shoved in me

This ain't no I.V.

He said he gave me a sedative

But I think he gave me a laxative

This knucklehead's really a chump

And now I gotta take a dump

I'm not sick somebody tell him

If I live through this I'm gonna kill him

This guy's really gettin' on my nerves

His treatment is for the birds

So shove his medicine back in his face

And get me out of this place

Doc is a quack!

My doctor's a quack!