{*a parody of Wyclef Jean's song "We're Trying to Stay Alive"*}



Kicked in the balls!



Looki-looki-lookin' sharp on a Saturday night

Hangin' out with my friends at a club and everything is alright

Pickin' up a hot lady is the plan

With a skirt short enough to wear as a headband

I step to a girl and I make my moves

Then I step right back with a nice fresh bruise

I found another woman lightin' up the place

She took one look at me and then slapped my face

But worst of 'em all was a woman named Louise

Who channeled all her power to a point on her knees

She hit me so hard that I felt time freeze

And I thought that my nuts were gonna split like peas

I can not describe all the pain I had inside

Prayin' for a quick death, let me take a breath

(inhale) Someone run

Get on the phone and call 911



I do more than write rhymes I don't step out of line

I like to take a lady out and show her a good time

Every minute planned out nothin' can go wrong

And I don't put my hands where they don't belong

A girl better know that she's lucky to be

With a guy like me 'cause I'm the best you see

I'm one of a kind, what can I say, I'm great

And no woman of mine better ever gain weight

Right about then it's time to say goodbye

And I get these weird looks from her I don't know why

And instead of a kiss I get a hell of a kick

And I get all shrivelled up where I should be thick

I'm quite surprised by my sudden condition

Hunched over on the ground in the fetal position



Kicked in the balls!



Well you can tell by the way I hold my nuts

I'm in lots of pain, I might bust a gut

Crawlin' on the floor tryin' hard to inhale

Hope my vision comes back because I don't know braille

I got a bad feeling that I ruined my clothes

And I hope my stomach don't come out my nose

If I make it to the door then I stand a chance

Gotta find some ice to put down my pants

I don't understand why this happened to me

I just asked if she was Debbie from this movie I seen



Yo, I slip up, slip up, then she kick up, kick up

And I throw up, throw up, and now I'm coughin' up blood

Then I hiccup, hiccup, try to shut up, shut up

And I pick up, pick up myself and die on the rug



Hey yo Spice is cryin', I think he's dyin'

I don't think he can breathe but he's tryin'

That's what he got and he got it good

Hit right there where he stood

In the balls, yo!



Kicked in the balls!



Aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah

Kicked in the balls!

Kicked in the balls!