God damn, why don't you get a life

I know beauty is only skin deep, you're right

But ugly goes down to the bone

So how's your love life, still holdin' your own?

Ya know I just saved your rear

I killed a shit eatin' dog on the way over here

Don't get embarrassed, no need to blush

But you're so full of shit that the toilet won't flush

What's that stuff comin' out of your toes

Yo, you got a big green thing on the end of your nose

As for looks you're a gonner

So ugly no dog would ever want to piss on you

The I.Q. of a slug

Got hit by a cup and said you got mugged

And I really think it's funny

That you sold the car when you needed gas money

You're hopeless man, you ain't got no class

So fat it takes two trips just to haul ass

And for your first kiss you had to beg

Couldn't get laid if you were made like an egg

And when's the last time you showered

Man you smell like you died back in 1985

I guess there's nothing I can do

But I tell you one thing, man, it must suck to be you



When you were born the doctor slapped your mother

And thought the afterbirth was gonna be your twin brother

And you grew up broke

And nobody fixed you so now you're a joke

Because you're just so wide

That when you walk down the street there ain't no other side

And you were just outta luck

When you jumped in the air and your ass got stuck

Took a trip went to visit Japan

And they thought Godzilla came back again

Your house redefines the bad mess

I can't believe that you failed your blood test

I got some bad news for ya, don't cry

I told your mom to act her age and the bitch died

What diseases you got? Man I heard that

During phone sex the hoes make you wear a jimmy hat

Now I'm not trying to be rude

But you don't get crabs from eatin' sea food

And if you wanna clean your ears, my God

Buy some Q-Tips, quit usin' tampons

You don't sweat much for a fat bastard

Put your car in drive and it might go faster

Go play in traffic if you got nothing else to do

Damn, it's really gotta suck to be you