Filet Mignon, by candlelight

Near the fireplace so late at night

Soft music in the back and the record don't skip

Gonna serve you like a waiter but I don't want a tip

You're so beautiful in every way

I'm just surprised that you don't have more to say

But wait what's that noise? It's like a whistle, it's weak

No, it can't be true, my girlfriend has a leak



My inflatable love

My inflatable love



You're my inflatable love, made in Japan

With a mouth wide enough to hold a soda can

Made of the finest latex, girl you'll never grow old

And I'll never have to worry about birth control

But there's something wrong, I can't believe you got a hole

I gotta find it and fix it before our dinner gets cold

'Cause I don't want to miss this chance to know you

I'm gonna get my duct tape you'll feel as good as new

Please tell me where the hole is, before it's too late

I'm in love with you girl, I don't want you to deflate

Ah, here it is I found it on your leg by the ingraving

I'll just make it so you look like you cut yourself shaving

Now I'll blow you back up, right back to normal size

You don't have to say thank you, I can see it in your eyes

I've been waiting all my life for a girl like you, Ingrid

Someone the stork didn't bring, but UPS did



My inflatable love



You're so perfect for me, in everything that you do

And now I know that I wanna spend my life with you

We can grow old together till we both look like prunes

Let's run away and get married and raise some little balloons

And girl I know you'll never even think of other men

Is there someone outside? I heard that noise again

Then someone barged in, he looked as mad as could be

And her inflatable husband beat the crap out of me



My inflatable love