[Chorus]

I got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What!

Got a hangnail like you just wouldn't believe

I got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What!

Got a hangnail! And I think it's starting to bleed!



[Verse One]

I got a, hangnail stickin out my pinky finger

And no matter how I pull it there's a tiny piece that lingers

I twist it and I yank- yank, I turn it like a crank- crank

I feel like I'm tryin to crack a safe at a bank

I never thought that anything so small could be so irritating

Flappy thin and fascinating, cuticle-ly captivating

Still I'm waiting just to find a method for removal

That's effective, not subjective, and will have my mom's approval

It gets my full attention 'til I finally get it off

It's beyond my comprehension why sometimes it's hard and soft

I don't know where they come from and I don't know where they go

But do they get the best of me, I gotta say hell no

Sometimes it takes my teeth sometimes it takes an act of God

But I always get it off if it takes off half my bod

So check out all your fingers if you got one out of luck

Then you gotta 'gree with me, I tell ya, hangnails suck



[Chorus]

I got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there!

They got a cocky attitude and they don't show any fear

I got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there!

And when I pull it off it comes out up to here!



[Verse Two: Tom Rockwell - Sudden Death]

I got a, hangnail now I'm feelin kinda odd

Now I'm startin to get queasey as my finger starts to throb

It's just a little flapper tell me what could be the harm

I tried to pull it off and it ripped all up my arm

I had a hangnail, there I was drivin down I-95

and got it caught in the gear shift and now I'm just

strivin to keep my car in the damn lane

And restrain the pain and try not to go insane

I got a hangnail, I feel so frail like Mr. Burns

And my finger burns, it never learns

... hey, what happened to the song?

I got a hangnail, so the mix came out wrong

I tell ya, hangnails make it tough to get a date

When the women see my fingers they just tend to run away

Like Friday night, started out alright but then declined

When the thing broke off and fell in my glass of wine

So I got rejected, hangnail got infected

Now I'm sittin home alone pus filled and neglected

Pissed at my finger, gonna set the thing straight

If it doesn't shape up I'm gonna amputate



[Chorus]

I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what

Got a hangnail, another one is startin to grow

I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what

Got a hangnail, another one on my big toe



[Verse Three]

I got a, hangnail now isn't that a pity

Launching an investigation and I'm forming a committee

Gonna get to the bottom of the problem if I can

So let's pay close attention to the matter at hand

Actually the matter's at foot this time

Got a hangnail hangin off my toe this time

How bad could it be it's just a little flap of skin

You just gotta yank it out and then that'll be the end

Pull it out, no doubt, then I start to scream and shout

Thus begins round one of a twelve round bout

It's stuck in so hard I gotta get a pair of pliers

Now I'm gettin kinda tired I think my foot is on fire

I gotta get a jackhammer just to dig around the nail

Now I'm gettin kinda faint because the air is gettin stale

I didn't use an anastehtic but I'm thinkin that I should've

Now I got half a mind to just cut my whole foot off

Nail clippers do nothin, sandpaper doesn't work

I even tried hedgeclippers, now I'm really gettin irked

This has gotta be the most annoying thing I ever saw

I may have to resort to the mighty chainsaw



[Chorus]

I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what

I got a hangnail, causing lots of pain as I walk

I got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what

I got a hangnail, I got it caught on my damn sock

I got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah

When I finally get 'em out they leave ugly skin trails

I got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah

I only got 10 fingers, I got 40 hangnails!