(parody of "Slam" by Onyx)



[chorus] 

Bran! Duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh

For when you're stuck! 

Bran! Duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh 

Diarrhea!!  



C'mon have another one, then another one, eat all of 'em 

Choose one from the supermarket, there's a whole wall of 'em 

Cereals with bran and fiber in 'em make you crap a lot 

It makes your butt feel all slimy 

I'm-a show you how, c'mon all together now 

Yeah, that's how it's gotta be 

Cereals with bran and a lot of fiber in it 

In your mouth out your rear, in a span of three minutes 

Prune juice, wash it down, clean you out fast 

Pant's droppin', the floppin' and ploppin' splashin' your ass 

Once it gets started, it just won't quit 

And then ulllgghhh, to big to fit 

98% of constipated people couldn't give a shit 

Little bit problem isn't it what's fixin' it 

I got a plan, I'm the man sittin' on the can 

All because I eat a lot of bran 

[chorus]  



I'm-a sit here sittin' on the shitter in pain, oh 

The only thing that cleans you out better is Drano 

But you can't beat bran for it's raz-a-ma-taz 

Makes you "ullgh-raptha-thbbb" like my main man Taz 

If one bowl doesn't work have one more 

And you won't be constipated any more 

Bloated, loaded, you better be prepared 

If not it'll feel like your lungs have imploded 

The smell it makes me high, I desecrate the air 

Be there for a week and never come up for air 

My crew, yup, my fans, yup, we all got plans 

To be sittin' on the john with the tidy bowl man 

The smell, the sound, it gets all around you.

We got enough toilet paper? I'm goin' for Round 2 

Fill it to the brim, I lost ten pounds 

You run for your life before the smell tracks you down 

[chorus]  



I'm the new king, sittin' on the porcelain throne 

Hurry up and give me the damn plunger before this thing overflows 

Tons of it in the potty, my body created 

Give some to the White House, they're all constipated 

Stuff comes out my ass like it was Niagara Falls 

So much of it falls that it splashes my balls 

And I, let it go so I [fart] um excuse me 

I started this nasty caper to create a toxic vapor 

For that I give praise to the maker 

'Cause cereals now come with a free roll of toilet paper 

But but but wait I see stars 

I'm so full of gas I could drive to Mars 

When I'm not on the can, I'm shoppin with my man 

Buyin' some cereals with fiber and, and [chorus]