If you really really really really love me
Then you really really really gotta show me
Don't whine when I put it in your booty
Or if I'm up all night playing Call of Duty
Never hassle me because I'm unemployed
If I sleep all day don't get annoyed
Then I'll know that you really really really really really really really love me
If you really really love me

If you really truly want to make me feel nice
Make it so I don't ever have to ask twice
Let me have the keys to your Mercedes
Don't get mad when I bring home some ladies
If I get fat and look like an ape
Lie to me, tell me I'm in great shape
Then I'll know that you really really really
Really really really love me

If you wonder what I did with the rent
Just consider it money well spent
I bought trunks and a new surfboard
So just go tell your dumb landlord
That you love me
You really really love me

If I have sex with your friend Melanie
Don't act like it's some kind of felony
It's not uncommon for this kind of infidelity
It happens to a lot of guys like Tiger Woods and me
Just be happy that I'm hung like a horse
And you get to ride the pony of course
'Cause I'm really really really really really really
Really really fond of you too

When you think it's really suckie girl
All your friends will say 'you lucky girl'
You got a man who's hot you say
All the girls wanna be with me
'Cause they love me
They really really love me
Yes they do

If you really really really really love me
You'd never make me hang out with your family
Your mum sucks and your dad really hates me
When I try to borrow money he berates me
Somehow he thinks that I'm too old for you
'Cause you're 19 and I'm 52
He can't see that you really really really really really really love me
You really really really really really really really really love me
If you really really love me