Every day at lunch in high school and all my senior year
 I'd drink my coca-cola with a touch of Everclear
 I never had to study math, science, or history
 I'd have a chemical flash back to jog my memory
 
 My junior year I swore I loved sweet Miss Sherri Ann
 One night I put some Everclear in her Dr. Pepper can
 Well I thought it'd make her easy
 But she took it pretty hard
 I took her home and rang her doorbell,
 Left her layin' in the yard.
 
 Tequila dries me out
 Beer just makes me fat
 Whiskey makes me nauseous,
 Now tell me who the hell needs that.
 So if youre thinking about drinking
 Well the answers crystal clear
 It's the invisible intoxicant
 It's called Everclear.
 
 I remember my church picnic
 In the spring of ‘89.
 Yeah they had four fresh watermelons
 Sliced right off the vine.
 When they bowed their heads giving grace for the food,
 Hey I pulled out my bottle and I soaked them melons good.
 Well they never knew what hit em
 When that potion went to work.
 They had grandmas doing back flips
 Grandpas looking up their skirts
 They were singing hallelujah and Willie Nelson songs.
 Preacher said it was the best dang picnic
 That the Baptists had ever thrown.
 
 Tequila dries me out
 Beer just makes me fat
 Whiskey makes me nauseous,
 Now tell me who the hell needs that.
 So if youre thinking about drinking
 Well the answers crystal clear
 It's the invisible, intoxicant
 It's called Everclear.
 
 When I'm drinking Everclear
 I think I'm king of this whole world
 I'm bigger and badder than John Wayne,
 And cooler than Steve Earl.
 Until I wake up and I'm face down in the hall
 Hey I'm completely naked for a reason I can't recall.
 Well I'm kinda sorta thinking that maybe I met chick
 Cause there's perfume in the air
 And there's lipstick on my neck.
 Well I hope that she was pretty,
 And I hope that she was kind...
 Enough to leave my clothes somewhere
 They're easy to find.
 
 Tequila dries me out
 Beer just makes me fat
 Whiskey makes me nauseous
 Now tell me who the hell needs that
 So if youre thinking about drinking
 Well the answers crystal clear
 It's the invisible, intoxicant
 It's called Everclear.