I don't like hummus, I hate long lines
Nosy neighbors and Venetian blinds
Chirping news anchors alter my mood
I'm offended by buzz-words like 'awesome' and 'dude'

I look like a train wreck, I feel like a blob
Till you get to know me, you may think I'm a snob
But I'm closer to heaven than I've ever been

I don't eat sushi, I don't smoke grass
I don't wear pyjamas, I don't drive fast
I hate idle gossip and tassled shoes
Slick politicians, they give me the blues

I don't ride in Limos, I can't play golf
I don't own a rifle that will blow your head off
But I'm closer to heaven than I've ever been

I'm riding that way from cradle to grave
I'm learning to feel my hands on the wheel

I love my friends, I love my wife
Four little babies are the light of my life
I love Sissy Spacek, I love Guy Clark
All the biscuits and gravy I can eat with a fork

I don't wanna be famous, who gives a damn?
I just wanna be happy who ever I am
And I'm closer to heaven than I've ever been
I'm closer to heaven than I've ever been

Closer to heaven
Closer to heaven