We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs a helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy, he must be happy,
he must be happy in his world

We're only making plans for Nigel
He has his future in a fist of steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy, he must be happy,
He must be happy in his world

Nigel is nice spoken and he loves to speak
And he likes to be spoken to
Nigel is happy in his world
Nigel is happy in his world

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs a helping hand

And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy, he must be happy,
he must be happy in his world

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him