(Richard Thompson) 



If I say what's on my mind, dear 

The judge will slap me down 

You've got me in the corner 

And it's only the second round 

So I'll keep my mouth shut, darling 

I'll be quiet as a lamb 

And I'll act just as dumb, dear 

As you really think I am 



I'll shake your hand like a 'Rang Utan 

Be as goofy as a clown 

Clear the streets and book your seats 

Mr. Stupid's Back In Town 

Have you seen me shoot 

Right through that hoop 

It's a trick of great renown 

Bring the crowd and laugh out loud 

Mr. Stupid's back in town 



When your friends point out 

You're stuck with 

A Neanderthal for an ex 

Don't fret about it, darling 

I still sign my name on cheques 

I can grunt my way through questions 

I can scratch myself and howl 

I can numb you with my dumbness 

I can lay it on with a trowel 



On your 37th birthday 

When he handed you that mink 

Did you still feel like a victim 

With your elbows in the sink 

But I've said too much already 

Now I think I'll step aside 

'Cos my alter ego's ready 

For any questions on your mind